When my parents separated, it was probably the easiest thing they've ever done together. They came to a mutual agreement, they remained friends, everything was as cool as the other side of the pillow. Silly naive little me, I thought my husband and I could end things just as easily.
It started out that way. We sat down. We discussed. We eventually came to the agreement that things weren't working and that there was too much damage to repair through counseling or other means. We were not the same happy, euphoric people that couldn't wait to marry each other. It's hard to say whether or not we grew apart. We may have, but I think what it comes down to is that we didn't know each other well enough before we got married.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. There. I said it. Usually, I don't have a problem admitting when I'm wrong, but this is the one thing I never wanted to come to terms with. Three years ago, I was so sure that I was making the right decision. We had a spark, a connection, we totally clicked! It was a "There were birds....all around....but I never heard them singing......til there was you" kind of love. You could cut the passion between us with a knife, and I'm sure some people around us wanted to. We were the epitome of a dating success story. From the bottom of my heart, I meant every word I spoke during our wedding vows. I took marriage seriously because I hadn't found anyone worthy of that kind of love before. I should write a country song.....
So here we are, in the living room that's no longer "ours", avoiding eye contact, on the verge of tears, trying to to figure out how we got to the point we were at. That word..."divorce"....passed my lips, and my eyes welled up. Even though I knew when we separated that this was the inevitable next step, I couldn't believe it was really happening. Everything that the people who doubted us had predicted of our marriage was coming to fruition. We lightly touched upon the details of the children and money, but what I remember him so clearly saying was, "If I can't make it work with you, I don't think I can make it work with anyone." Hmmmm....yes, this is true.....
Just kidding. Not really. Ok, yes, really.
Moving on.
So initially, we were on the same track and it was nice while it lasted. Eventually though, things got nasty, as they usually do during a divorce. It took me by surprise and it was almost as if we hadn't known each at all. Again, my parents were an exception to the "bitter divorce" cliche. I guess I have to chalk it up to the fact that they're just awesome people who were realistic about their marriage and their futures. I'm not going to get in to the nitty gritty details of the nastiness of our divorce because that phase has passed, I hope, and I'd rather look ahead than behind. And after the year that I had, I really don't want to look at my behind. It's quite bigger than it used to be.
Now, Jennifer, what did we learn from this?
HA!!! Where do I begin!?
